Since departing Cleveland in January, it’s become common for me to experience a bout of nerves whenever I’m on my way to a new city. This train ride feels different though. I’m not nervous about where I’m going. I’m not saddened by my departure—even though I had an amazing time in Seattle and got to know a lot of great people. Trust me, I'm really going to miss it.
I just feel… neutral.
The reason I’m even sharing this is because it seems so odd to me. As the project has progressed, I’ve come to learn how to deal with certain things that are constants—going through security, packing my suitcase, having my forms filled out, sending the next round of emails, etc. The nervousness that comes with venturing to a new place has always been one of those constants. So, why aren’t I feeling it right now? What’s changed?
To be quite honest, I haven’t the slightest idea. Perhaps seeing my friends a few weeks ago hit some sort of reset button on my whole ‘on the road’ mindset. I mean, on some level, the time I spent with them reminded me that it won’t long before I see them again. We are entering the final three months of the project after all.
On the other hand, perhaps I’ve just grown so accustomed to relocating that my brain now sees it as ‘just another day’. My subconscious may be telling me, “Relax, we’ve done this 12 other times. There’s nothing to be nervous about.” I guess I’ll just have to wait and see if the nerves return when I’m gearing up for San Francisco.
As for now, I plan on putting my head back and losing myself in the motion of the tracks and the music in my headphones. I’ll see you in Portland everyone.